Those overalls I covet

A monochromatic grey sky weighs low and heavy against my spirit, the moisture in the air making breathing a challenge.  I went to the coffee shop this morning with my fellow on his invitation.  Unfortunately, the overpowering cologne of some man in the small shop affected me in such a way I had to leave.  I encouraged my fellow to remain at the coffee shop, enjoy his morning there.  In stead he opted to walk home with me.  On the walk home he showed signs of and stated frustrations, resentment and subtle anger that I 1.) "made a big stink when [he] said he was going to the coffee shop", 2.) left the shop after such a brief stay.

Well, I did not make a big stink, I looked at him with a mildly confused expression, as he had spent the previous 2 hours saying he did not want to leave the house.  Then I told him to "have a good time."  At which point he asked if I wanted to join him.  Well, I did want to join him.  I was disappointed in myself because I lost the charger to my new camera, and thus cannot take photos, and felt leaving the house would help cheer me up.  Also, as my fellow works 5 or 6 days a week 5:30 am to 8:00 pm, I hardly ever see him, so wanted to share time with him during his unexpected day off.

When we arrived home from the coffee shop he immediately left to go on a bus ride (and get away from me.  When he want to be alone, or more to the point, not be with me specifically, he takes a few hour bus trip.  His assertion that he wanted to go on a bus ride was my first clue he resented my actions. 

I did not try to talk him out of his bus ride, or make any commentary other than encourage him to 'enjoy the ride.'

Now, this seemingly minor incident would not matter, except, he and I are trying to rebuild trust and goodwill.  He has had a tendency for the past 6 - 8 months to be constantly upset with me, sometimes in response to frustrating things I do, but for the most part, in response to imagined offenses, misperceptions of my mood, or before even interacting with me (as in he walks in the door carrying anger at me, before seeing, speaking, or interacting with me at all).

He has persistently chosen to look for and find fault with me, then say "I am not upset." while he seethes silently and solitarily, building an ever growing omni-present resentment.

We shall see what his mood is upon his return, but I hold no regret for my behavior this morning.  I did not pester him.  I did not invite myself to join him.  I will not stay in a place where my wellness is subjected to risk (as when affronted by strong odors - they trigger my migraines), I did not ask or entreat or in any way coerce him to leave the coffee shop.  I was kind, considerate, sensitive and encouraging him in his asserted choices.  If he held secret desire (to go to the coffee shop alone) then he needs to state his desire aloud for me to know of it.

I asserted my stance /perspective on the walk home.  In the interest of compassion I should have first affirmed the perspective he shared.  I will, in future, overtly affirm his expressions.