Finding Balance

I realized recently that I am out of balance.  My spirit, my body, my soul each need balance.    When I visit the homestead of my family, anger swarms my spirit.  I find my teeth clenched and my shoulders tightened in a constant state of anger, frustration, disappointment and powerlessness.  Underlying those negative emotions resides eddies of alienation, exasperation, guilt, and duty.  I search my spirit and my soul for joy, serenity, love, compassion and sense of connection.  Spurts of those emotions occasionally emerge.
When I am at home, where I reside following routines and controlling elements of daily life, I am not engulfed in anger.  I tend to feel - indifferent, complacent, idle and curious.  The underlying eddies of daily life are hope, compassion, need for friendship, loneliness and isolation.  Love also resides in my heart in daily doses.  Serenity I seek, practicing mindfulness with intention.  Joy, well joy is rare.  A sense of connection exists in a fledgling form.  I need to nurture the connections.