Big changes abound
I have not posted to the blog in quite awhile. I am taking time today to organize thoughts, articulate feelings and share news. In late May I learned that all the summer course slated for me to teach cancelled due to lack of adequate enrollment. I only work 'part-time' as an Adjunct Lecturer, so my income is lean to begin with. Summer is usually a time teach many courses and bank up some income for my light spring semester the following year. My budget is carefully managed since my income fluctuates with the semesters. Summer is generally a full third of my annual income, so to loose the classes was a financial blow.
The result - I intensified my job search, widened my scope and opened my options. I have been seeking full time work for a couple years. I would search for compelling and relevant positions. I submitted applications only occasionally. I went to a few interviews around the country (Ohio, Massachusetts, Washington). I was even offered one job, but after careful reflection on many variables I opted to remain where I lived working as Adjunct with consistent course loads.
Everything has changed in the previous month. I applied for, interviewed for and accepted a full time position. I am moving 8 hours away, to an unknown city, a new position and on my own. My fellow is remaining in our current apartment to keep working his current job for awhile. (I am, admittedly, stressed about how long 'awhile' is likely to become - 3 months? 4 months? longer?). I am pleased he has a job he finds rewarding and happy for him to continue working it, that does not lessen the strain we will experience as a long distance couple.
I am allowing myself some grieving - grieving for the end of familiar routine. Grieving for separation from community. Grieving for distance from friends. Grieving for upheaval of home.
I am also accepting apprehension - apprehension of the unknown, apprehension of transition, apprehension of forming a new community, apprehension of starting over in a new place, apprehension of how my relationship with my fellow will change.
I am welcoming anticipation - anticipation for the unknown, anticipation for transition, anticipation for joining a new community, anticipation for starting over in a new place, anticipation for how my relationship with my fellow will change.
Emotions are dynamic, paradoxical, fascinating, powerful things. Each day I move through so many emotions I am astounded. Writing out the situation and experience helps me to accept, identify, explore and embrace my emotions, which in turn helps me become myself. I have the capacity for greatness. I have to willingness to adventure. I have the capability to succeed.
The result - I intensified my job search, widened my scope and opened my options. I have been seeking full time work for a couple years. I would search for compelling and relevant positions. I submitted applications only occasionally. I went to a few interviews around the country (Ohio, Massachusetts, Washington). I was even offered one job, but after careful reflection on many variables I opted to remain where I lived working as Adjunct with consistent course loads.
Everything has changed in the previous month. I applied for, interviewed for and accepted a full time position. I am moving 8 hours away, to an unknown city, a new position and on my own. My fellow is remaining in our current apartment to keep working his current job for awhile. (I am, admittedly, stressed about how long 'awhile' is likely to become - 3 months? 4 months? longer?). I am pleased he has a job he finds rewarding and happy for him to continue working it, that does not lessen the strain we will experience as a long distance couple.
I am allowing myself some grieving - grieving for the end of familiar routine. Grieving for separation from community. Grieving for distance from friends. Grieving for upheaval of home.
I am also accepting apprehension - apprehension of the unknown, apprehension of transition, apprehension of forming a new community, apprehension of starting over in a new place, apprehension of how my relationship with my fellow will change.
I am welcoming anticipation - anticipation for the unknown, anticipation for transition, anticipation for joining a new community, anticipation for starting over in a new place, anticipation for how my relationship with my fellow will change.
Emotions are dynamic, paradoxical, fascinating, powerful things. Each day I move through so many emotions I am astounded. Writing out the situation and experience helps me to accept, identify, explore and embrace my emotions, which in turn helps me become myself. I have the capacity for greatness. I have to willingness to adventure. I have the capability to succeed.
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