Those overalls I covet

My current view

The kingfisher obligingly announces arrival, though just passing briefly through.  The wind gusts softly and yellow walnuts leaves twirl to the ground.  The creek is unexpectedly quiet after a night of rain.  The cheet cheet cheet of a sparrow? constantly sounds.  The sun makes a weak quick peak from behind thick grey clouds.  The morning slowly wanes.  

I await news about a position, in a community I aspire to inhabit.  The waiting is a challenge, only met my questing for peace in the unknown.  I have no control, now, over the decision or the timing. Yet the outcome will determine the next stage of my, and A's, life.  

I am simultaneously excited at the prospect to living in the community, working for the organization, attending to the tasks of the job and apprehensive of the transition, the responsibility.  I have not presented myself such a large challenge in a long time.  I have been posing myself challenges of a smaller more routine and consistent sort.  I have extended to new and different courses and the challenge of how to teach them.  The new job would be a major shift.  I have the relevant experience and skills.

I am superstitious enough to think that whichever I truly focus on (getting the job vs not getting the job) will become the option.  So, I wonder whether cowardice and complacency (staying on the current course with which I am familiar) or self-actualization and personal enrichment (new, unknown, challenging and rewarding) will be the path.  

A is willing to join me on the adventure, the unknown, the new.  I think the change would be good for each of us and both of us as a unit.  I think where and what we are now is not what either of us truly want.  We are awash with financial challenges, isolated from social connections, in a routine of duty rather than personal fulfillment.  The overall sense of mutual regard and support is strong and sincere.  However the wonder, attraction, frivolity and whimsy are lacking to non-existent.  I think we each would benefit greatly from an infusion of light-heartedness and communal connection.   A major change in locale and activity would facilitate such an infusion. 

So I must meditate on the possibility of renewal and spiritual enrichment through life activity.