delayed emotion
A bout of frustration in the morning. A task put off for the need of a second person's help. 2nd person enters the task doing and makes it exponentially more complicated and time consuming that task needs to be. Person one stubbornly insists on the simplicity possible. Person 2 asserts the various tools from various locations he must gather in order to do the task are essential.
The frustration mounts, escalates even - more rapidly than, well something really fast.
The tone of voice of each is curt, sharp, hard. The words few. The nonverbal behaviors hard, distant, aloof, to use a British term 'shirty'.
When the task is completed there is a bit of an actual argument, hard feelings evident in each person.
Person 2 makes overtures at reconciliation before departing to run errands (in a rush) before work. They kiss and hug and exchange smiles. Person 1 breathes a sigh of relief, thinking the altercation is moved on from. A flash in the pan in a moment of miscommunication, stubbornness, and variance of perspective.
Person 1 speaks to Person 2 after the work day - from the tone of voice, weight of silence and word choice person 2 uses, person 1 can tell person 2 is upset. Person 1 assumes (presumes) that person 2 is angry at person 1. Person 2 speaks to person 1 in a way reserved for frustration. Person 2 does not come directly home from work; other matters must be attended to. When he does arrive home hours and hours later he is still clearly upset - in general, because of the evening matters attended to, and from the morning task tiff.
Person 1, who had harbored no lingering feelings of anger, frustration, alienation, upset is now thrust back into stomach churning, gut wrenching, blood stilling confusion, hurt, fear and some resentment mingled in in the ambivalent way of humanity. Conversing is not an option, person 2 is in no mood to talk. Or be in the same room with person 1.
Person 1 will now try valiantly to center herself. To salvage some hope of calm, settled stomach, flowing blood and eventual sleep.
Person 2 has had an all around rotten, start to finish, day. Cold wet feet, ruffled feathers immediately upon waking up. Technical difficulties at bank and store, a near miss car accident, being put upon to do a sink install by friends (without prior notice or proper preparation), and utter exhaustion from working so hard in the cold.
No wonder he just wants to wash the day away in the shower then crawl into bed to sleep.
The frustration mounts, escalates even - more rapidly than, well something really fast.
The tone of voice of each is curt, sharp, hard. The words few. The nonverbal behaviors hard, distant, aloof, to use a British term 'shirty'.
When the task is completed there is a bit of an actual argument, hard feelings evident in each person.
Person 2 makes overtures at reconciliation before departing to run errands (in a rush) before work. They kiss and hug and exchange smiles. Person 1 breathes a sigh of relief, thinking the altercation is moved on from. A flash in the pan in a moment of miscommunication, stubbornness, and variance of perspective.
Person 1 speaks to Person 2 after the work day - from the tone of voice, weight of silence and word choice person 2 uses, person 1 can tell person 2 is upset. Person 1 assumes (presumes) that person 2 is angry at person 1. Person 2 speaks to person 1 in a way reserved for frustration. Person 2 does not come directly home from work; other matters must be attended to. When he does arrive home hours and hours later he is still clearly upset - in general, because of the evening matters attended to, and from the morning task tiff.
Person 1, who had harbored no lingering feelings of anger, frustration, alienation, upset is now thrust back into stomach churning, gut wrenching, blood stilling confusion, hurt, fear and some resentment mingled in in the ambivalent way of humanity. Conversing is not an option, person 2 is in no mood to talk. Or be in the same room with person 1.
Person 1 will now try valiantly to center herself. To salvage some hope of calm, settled stomach, flowing blood and eventual sleep.
Person 2 has had an all around rotten, start to finish, day. Cold wet feet, ruffled feathers immediately upon waking up. Technical difficulties at bank and store, a near miss car accident, being put upon to do a sink install by friends (without prior notice or proper preparation), and utter exhaustion from working so hard in the cold.
No wonder he just wants to wash the day away in the shower then crawl into bed to sleep.
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