hard choices
Given a number of variables - none of them warm and fuzzy - I have decided to not decorate for the holidays this year.
I looked forward to sharing it with a friend who shares my passion for the season, who enjoys caroling, decking the halls, and decorating the tree. But that is not to be. And I don't have the energy to face the season alone.
Every single decoration a reminder of loss in one form or another.
I had foreseen such a bright few weeks - celebrating winter, solstice, and the related beauties. Now, I don't know how to access that joy. Nostalgia of Christmases past was going to weigh heavily anyway, but would be juxtaposed against the beauty of now and promise of future. A hopeful season.
I don't feel that hope now. So the nostalgia would win sway.
In stead, I will put the boxes back in the garage.
Angelo will get his preferred approach - complete lack of holiday. Just days, in succession with no affiliation to past or future, holiday or celebration.
I looked forward to sharing it with a friend who shares my passion for the season, who enjoys caroling, decking the halls, and decorating the tree. But that is not to be. And I don't have the energy to face the season alone.
Every single decoration a reminder of loss in one form or another.
I had foreseen such a bright few weeks - celebrating winter, solstice, and the related beauties. Now, I don't know how to access that joy. Nostalgia of Christmases past was going to weigh heavily anyway, but would be juxtaposed against the beauty of now and promise of future. A hopeful season.
I don't feel that hope now. So the nostalgia would win sway.
In stead, I will put the boxes back in the garage.
Angelo will get his preferred approach - complete lack of holiday. Just days, in succession with no affiliation to past or future, holiday or celebration.
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