retreat into the familiar space of alone

My current mood is to retreat inward, like the turtle. Pull in all vulnerable parts, leave on the hard carapice to withstand the world.

Maybe this mood will pass quickly - though I am doubtful.

I will remove myself from those places, groups, interactions where I have to spend energy projecting 'okay'ness, or hiding pain.
Which is everwhere. Everyone.

i thought i finally found community and vivacity
i thought i found a space in which to thrive
creativity, confidence, companionship pouring out of me.

I should have known it could not last

is that self-pity
probably,

buck up.

pah.

I don't even feel like doing homework - but  i will
the momentum of responsibilities carry me forward like so much flotsam

i don't even find solace in words