When the light is snuffed

I had a bright, beautiful light
shining from without
and within
radiating
fueling each other

now I must wonder,
what happens when a light is snuffed
fuel no longer for the other
does the latter, sputter, dim

or black instantly too

i think the latter

I must now stumble around in the dark
allow my eyes
mind, heart, soul
to adjust

night vision of the soul
will shapes become clear
will I learn to navigate by other senses


I take the metaphor to its fullness, and it will make sense only to me, I am sure.
So this post is for me
An outlet
a place to write
to process

a place to replace a correspondence that inspired me to greater depth of writing, feeling, being

in place of the light is loneliness, rejection, sadness, loss
and an almost, fear of what else I will lose -
creative fire?  perhaps
inspiration
joy
peace
confidence
                  most probably,
                                    assuredly.

What will happen to other areas of my life?
without that brightness, that zest - all other areas will pale, fade, diminish

Yes, I expect so - for when I have no brightness of my own, how can I shine on others? 

I thought my light was going to shine bright, so confident was I in the lights.
Shows I know nothing

can predict nothing

life turns in an instant

then I adjust
and it turns - like the ... I have no analogy
I come up short
the shifts, lurches, turns, abrupt stops - unpredictable
and devastatingly impactful

I will now, go sit in my blue chair and be numb for awhile,
for the pain is visceral
the dark palpable
the unknown infinite

and the beauty - a memory